(...)

I'm sick.
And tired.

Last night.

Last night, well last night wasn't a good night.

I was born here and I grew up knowing and well aware of the violence in the city. I was fortunate and made it through in one piece.

Last night, around 7PM, some people decided to use a crowded shopping mall as a place of business. And, of all the places in the mall, they chose the food court. The food court. If you've been to a mall around dinner time you know what the food court looks like. This particular mall has a cinema, a theatre, a mini amusement park for little kids and a dance school [how I get in] - among other things. The police tried to make an arrest. The dealers had armed bodyguards who took action and responded.

I've lived in some belligerent places and I've been through some tight spots. This, with the absurdity of the brightly lit, pedestrian setting and the palpable panic and fear - this one really left me... I have no words, not really. I could say I was speechless, scared, impotent, angry as hell, helpless - and none of it would mean much.

I tried to write about it before, but couldn't really articulate anything and, in an odd way, went about business as if nothing had happened at all. Until the newspaper short circuited me and-

The food court. Fuck them all.